I have thought long and hard about what I really want this blog to be about and I think I have come to a conclusion. I want it to of course, discuss the truths and realities of this thing called “Motherhood”. I want it to be enlightening to soon-to-be mothers, new mothers and even seasoned mothers, because if we are being honest, there’s always something more to learn when it comes to Motherhood. I am definitely not saying I have all the answers, because I can assure you I do not. What I can promise you is that as I learn more day by day, I will share those struggles, victories, questions and everything else because I’m sure there is at least one other person out there that might relate or benefit from it. ATTENTION: This blog post is not directed to anyone specifically, nor is it meant to offend. Just wanted to make sure that was clear.
So today I wanted to touch on a few things that I didn’t exactly understand until it happened to me. I have seen numerous YouTube and BuzzFeed videos making fun of these moments and possibly exaggerating them, but some moments just aren’t that funny and some might not be exaggerated. Also, I want to preface this blog post with the statement that I am not going to only focus on the hard part of motherhood because despite its many challenges, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I know it sounds cliché but you’ll understand when you’re there. So that’s where we will start.
- Before having a baby, you get plenty of unsolicited advice for basically EVERYTHING and you hear “Oh, you’ll understand when you’re a parent”.
I’ll just start by saying that the whole, “you’re so young” or “you just won’t understand” is the most demeaning phrase. I want to be like “try me”, but instead I just shake my head quietly in agreeance. Since having Ayden, I can see where they are coming from but I feel like there are better ways to say this and it’s not really helpful to anyone. I feel better getting that off my chest.
- Your schedule is no longer your schedule.
I think this might have been one of the biggest challenges for me since I am so used to planning ahead, being on time or early and doing things when I wanted to do them. Well, after having a baby, I got a nice WAKE UP CALL! I now schedule my life around feedings, nap time, bed time and basically whatever mood Ayden is in. After trying to nurse at restaurants, at the mall, in my car and then having to deal with back pain and heat exhaustion from sitting in an uncomfortable position and having a baby radiate body heat under a polyester nursing cover, I did everything I could to make sure baby was fed BEFORE going out.
- Eating dinner is no longer the same.
You don’t really hear about these little things much but they are things that stick out to me most now. Dinner is a balancing act of watching the baby while trying not to burn the food, and having raw meat on your hands to quickly having to grab the baby before he breaks that special vase you got at your wedding. Dinner is one bite for baby, one bite for… nevermind, another bite for baby, one bite for mommy, three for baby… you get the picture. It’s making sure you have eaten before the baby is done otherwise you probably wont get to sit while you eat, it will be take it to go. There’s also the option of having your significant other hold/watch the baby while you eat and then taking turns. Dinner can definitely be done, but with skill.
I don’t want to scare anyone off and I’m sure most of you have heard this more times than you can count, but sleep now, or forever hold your…. ZZZZzzzz’s. It’s hard enough finding a comfortable position while pregnant, especially when a baby keeps drop kicking your rib cage and internal organs, but unless you have a baby that sleeps through the night from day one, you will need to get as much rest as you can, while you still can. Thankfully I only had to get up with Ayden every three hours to feed him but every three hours while working full time… still not sure how I did it.
- Things you’re ok with talking about.
I will admit I am a very private person when it comes to certain things but since having Ayden, not a whole lot gets to me. After having Ayden, I remember talking to his sitter about how many times he pooped and peed, what color it was, how often… you know, the details. What’s crazy is that it’s totally normal mommy talk. Then there’s the rash, snot, teething, eating, napping talks. It’s no wonder that’s just about all new mom’s talk about.
After all that, here’s my unsolicited advice. 😉
- Don’t worry about what people say and what you don’t know yet. They don’t necessarily know what’s best for your child, only you will. Like I said before, there is always more to learn with motherhood, so we are really all in the same boat… some a little further off shore than others.
- Your old schedule, where you get to do whatever you want, whenever you want, will not be missed. Now you have a much better reason for being.
- Dinner shminner… As long as I get something in my belly and am not hangry, yes I said hangry (hungry to the point of anger), then all is good.
- Sleep? You would be surprised what your body can do with only 4 hours of sleep, it just keeps going, that is, with a lot of will power and a butt load of coffee.
- You talk about weird things but you get to make some great new friends because other mommy’s have been there and understand.