Before getting married, all you know is what you have seen or heard and what you’re mind has fantasized about. Whether that’s movies, what you read in that romantic novel, what your friends have told you, or watching your parents’ marriage or divorce in action. I was the same way. I knew and had heard many times that marriage is hard work and takes commitment, which is definitely true but that’s not all there is to it. If it was just a lot of work, then why do so many people still do it? However, the movies that I watch would paint a much different picture; that it was easy, all you do is find your “match” and you live happily ever after.
Definitely not saying that you do or don’t live happily ever after, but it’s just not realistic. I love my husband, but sometimes I don’t like the way he acts, the things he does etc. Is this ground for divorce? I don’t think so, because we made a commitment to each other, in good times and bad, sickness and health, for richer or poorer—not until we get tired of each other which if I’m being honest would have been a couple weeks in (I’m sure he would say the same). I think part of the problem is the fact that this day in age is all about instant gratification, no one wants to put that much effort into anything if it’s not going to change immediately. I saw a sign recently that said “In my day in age, we fixed what was broken; we didn’t just get a new one.” So true.
The other night after a long day of work, errands, cooking dinner, and getting the baby to bed. I sat there and just looked at what my husband and I were doing. I had gotten my shower already… it was only 8pm, and was just sitting on the couch, on my laptop paying bills, checking FB and whatever else. My husband was playing a game and just decompressing from his stressful day. It wasn’t anything special, but to me it was a reminder that I have someone to do life with. To be able to sit in my t-shirt and sweatpants, with wet hair, no make-up and be comfortable just being myself. I mean, if I can’t be myself around him then who am I really, right?
Now I’m going to let out a big secret… are you ready? You know what happens after “Date Night”… 9 times out of 10… nothing. We eat, talk, enjoy each others’ company, then it’s almost 8pm so we go pick up the baby to get him to bed and then once again, PJ’s, computer, TV show. This is not to say that there is no “Spark” left in our marriage because we have our moments, but it’s not about those moments as much as learning, growing and working together to strengthen our marriage everyday. I sometimes think back on those months, and years when we were dating and engaged and were so enamored with each other and as great of times as those were, I am so happy to call my husband “mine”.