One of the hardest parts of life is finding the balance in all the craziness. For example, I haven’t set aside time to blog because I have been to focused on other things in my life… mainly my job, laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, shopping, you catch my drift. Didn’t mean to forget about my blog, Sorry about that. Anyways, when things get off balance is when things start going wrong.
If you really think about it, do you remember that time when you were hanging out with friends so much that you found out your family felt neglected, or vice versa? When you spent too much money on something you just had to have, not enough on bills that were due? When you spent so much time of FB and then realize you missed out on some important moments because you were buried in your phone? Well, like I said, it’s all about balance.
I have learned this time and time again and probably will continue to until my time is over because it’s so difficult to master. However, not to make this blog all about God, well, to be honest that’s what everything is about, but God is the only one who knows the delicate balance of this world. To be completely transparent with everyone, because I’m totally and irreversibly human, ever since becoming a mom in November 2015, I have lost the balance. I have tried to do it all on my own, because I just really wanted control of our life, finances, etc. For a while there I had myself fooled that I could handle it and things were better that way because I was the one making decisions, or so I thought.
We managed to both get full-time jobs, have a baby, save up and buy a house, and even a new car. That’s all been such a blessing but trying to keep up with all of it has really worn me down and somedays I feel like I have no strength left. That’s when the Lord gently tugged at my heart to remind me that he is, was and has always been there for me. He is the one that has given us all we have and can give me strength enough to take care of it. Maybe it’s my type A personality or just my human tendencies that make it so hard to relinquish control, or maybe both. What I do know is that I can’t do it on my own, and that I do want everyone around me to see the light of Christ, especially my One year old that is already showing us his sinful nature (and let me tell you, no one had to teach him how to press our buttons, he just knew it).
With the Lord’s help, I want to have the family time we need but also give my husband and I a chance to catch up with some friends. I want to be able to splurge here and there on something nice but make sure that the budget can handle it. I want to be able to keep in touch with family and friends online but not forget to give the time and attention to the ones right in front of me and not miss out on those special, once in a lifetime moments.
I know it will take a daily effort to die to myself and learn to fully rely on God. I know it will not be easy but so worth it. I know ultimately it will bring my family closer together, united. I know I will finally be able to breathe because even when everything isn’t going my way, I don’t have to worry because I’m not the one in control, He is. I want to remember that.